Transcript: They Are Us Podcast, Episode 5

[MUSIC]

Juliana: Welcome to They Are Us, where you’ll hear stories of resilience and hope from folks in recovery and insights from experts in the field. I’m your host, Julianne. This episode focuses on a residential treatment program designed specifically for women who are pregnant or have young children. Since 1989, CCC’s Letty Owings Center has provided a safe place where moms can stay with their children while getting treatment for substance use.

In 2024, we served 93 women and 54 children were reunited with their mothers. In this episode, you’ll hear from Tina Bialas, the director of CCC’s Letty Owings Center, as well as a few of the moms who have been through the program. Please note that some of their stories detail trauma, but we want you to know that the mothers and their babies are doing well today. Let’s get started.

Juliana: Tina Bialas is the director of the Letty Owings Center, a safe, inclusive environment where women can live with their children while receiving treatment for substance use. With 30 years of experience in the behavioral health field, brings a wealth of knowledge to this work. Welcome to podcast, Tina.

Tina: Thank you, Juliana.

Juliana: It’s really good to have you here. Let’s start off by about the source of talking about the Letty Owings Center. Tell us little bit about the structure of the program. What is the experience that a mom will have when she comes into your care?

Tina: Sure. The Letty Owings Center is a 29-bed residential substance use disorder treatment facility. And we specialize in working with women who are pregnant or have a child under the age of six coming to live with them while they’re in treatment. She may have referred herself. She may have been referred by a child welfare worker or by somebody in the medical field or occasionally by a probation officer. And she’ll bring a few, some items with her. Many times we receive women who have essentially the clothes on their back. When she arrives, we do an assessment of her substance use disorder. We assess for mental health issues. She meets with the nurse who assesses for sort of acute medical issues that are gonna need attention pretty quickly. And we often are feeding them first thing. Sometimes they haven’t eaten in a while.

And just getting them settled into the routine. And so as they are into their next weeks and first couple of months in treatment, it’s really about settling into waiting for your brain to sort of click back in and function properly and begin to work that roadmap and attend individual sessions and lots of group therapy sessions and doing art therapy with our mental health specialist and attending skill building groups and parenting groups and learning how to live within a pro-social community, which some women have never had or it’s been a very long time. Learning to live with structure and be on a schedule and get up at the same time every day and feed your child and take care of yourself, shower regularly, things like that. We also spend a lot of time with our clients, helping them get to other appointments. They’re often needing specialty medical care, or they have court appointments that they need to make sure to get to, or they have other unattended business that needs to get cleaned up.

Juliana: The format of this episode is going to be slightly different since a few of our guests can’t be at the studio with us. Our producer Karen interviewed them in another location and they had their babies with them. And we are keeping their names confidential. So we’re get out with a few audio clips from moms talking about some of the ways Letty Owings Center help them get back on their feet. And then we’re just going to maybe reflect on what we just heard.

Mom 1: Letty Owings really helped me with becoming a mom, learning how to be independent, learning how to love myself again.

I’ve learned how to cope with triggers and cravings in healthy ways. I find myself doing it every day. And I’ve learned how to provide stability and provide a healthy environment and be a great mom to my son, because that’s so important.

I get to be the parent that I wish I had.

Mom 2: It’s hard. It’s not easy. You know, it’s really hard and it’s okay if you mess up. Just get back on the horse, you know? Just don’t give up. Just because you messed up, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, you know?

And the girls here are very non-judgmental and very welcoming. I really felt more welcome here than I have any other treatment I’ve ever wanted to. Which, that’s a big thing. I felt like I fit right in, like right away, which was really cool. I wish they had more treatment centers like here where you could have your kids with you. It was really hard.

I actually get along with most of the staff and there’s some really cool staff members that actually have been through treatment here, which is really cool. It’s a pretty positive vibe all around. Yeah.

Mom 3: If you want the best opportunity for you and your child, Letty offers it. There is nothing better than being able to have your child with you and be supported and have people go to bat for you at core DHS or anything that comes up that you may have to deal with from your past. This is a place that will have your back as long as you are putting the work in for yourself. And I think that…

In the past, maybe we haven’t had that kind of support, and they really are a rock for us, as long as we’re willing to do the work as well.

Juliana: Wow, it is so great to hear their voices and I’m immediately struck with how all the things you said are really reflected in those clips. Do you have reflections?

Tina: Just listening to our women.

I can’t help but point out for the listener that these women are really brave. First of all, it’s hard to survive some of the things that they have already survived. And it’s also hard to find yourself struggling with addiction, not knowing where to turn, loving a child that you are struggling to take care of.

And coming into residential treatment means you give up lot of freedoms. And most people generally don’t want to sign up for that. You have to follow the rules and do the things like other people say need to get done and follow somebody else’s schedule. They’re very brave. And they’re much stronger than they realize that they are. You know, it’s like we like to say in treatment, it’s a process, not an event. Getting into recovery is not like flicking a light switch from off to on. Right. You know, it’s a very difficult journey. And some days look very different than other days. But it’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s about doing it again everyday.

Juliana: Tell me so that folks can.

Let me understand the term residential treatment. How is that different than maybe something that people are more familiar with, like a supportive housing environment or program housing? What is residential treatment?

Tina: Yeah, when you enter a residential treatment program, what it means is that all of your needs, including your treatment needs, are going to be met at that facility. You sleep there, you eat there, you live there, and also the people who provide you your behavioral health services, addiction services, mental health services, other types of supports, have their offices in the same facility where you are living for that period of time. And so there is a level of interaction and relationship building that happens between staff in a residential facility and the clients that live there receiving treatment that goes well beyond what you would see in an outpatient clinic where you schedule your appointment, you go there for the one hour appointment, and then you leave, and then maybe you see the person next week or in two weeks. This is very, very different. in the treatment field, what we know is that people whose addiction is so far advanced that they require residential treatment, those are the folks that they need that extra structure. They need the extra safety of a controlled environment because they’re unable to stop their use otherwise. And so we provide that, we have doors that are locked from the outside. Our clients are not locked in to the program. They can leave at any time. But we control who comes into the facility, and that helps us keep things safe. For Letty, we run a secure location, because unfortunately, many of our women have histories of being involved with unsafe people and abusive boyfriends and husbands and things like that. And so we really want to create an opportunity for them to be physically safe. And that creates an environment where you can begin to come out of survival mode and really start thinking about what, does it mean to actually work on myself and figure out how I got here and what needs to change so that I don’t have to come back here.

Juliana: Wow, that’s what residential treatment does. It gives them the time that they need to recover.

Tina: Yes. So, we really are laying down a foundation upon which the rest of their work can be built upon. Just like with a house, if you don’t attend to laying a very solid foundation, you may build a terrific mansion on top of it, but it won’t take long before the walls are cracking and the doors are out of plumb.

Juliana: Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

This audio clips from a mom who went into labor with her daughter while she was living in a tent. Let’s take a listen.

Mom 4: So, my entire pregnancy I was on the streets of Portland. I was homeless, I had found out I had found out back in August last year that I was pregnant just because I realized that my body was different at that point. And I ended up giving birth in November, which was like three or four months later, so was kind of crazy. And I actually went into labor in my tent in the Pearl District. At first, I was in denial, I was in labor. My dude kind of had a hunch that I was, and he ended up going and find someone called 911. The ambulance came to our tent and at that point my contractions were about like four minutes apart. By the time we got to Good Sam, which was 10 blocks away, my contractions were about a minute apart. They couldn’t get my IV in. They couldn’t. It was really bad and she was coming really fast. Finally, they got an IV in the very last minute. But at that point, the last contraction I had, I like had to reach down and was like, what is that? And they’re like, those are her feet. And I was like, oh my gosh.

So was freaking out. I am glad that I made it to the hospital because I was terrified I would have a baby in a tent and I don’t think that either of us would have survived, or at least she wouldn’t have survived and that would have broke me. She is so important and so amazing.

Juliana: Wow, I don’t think before I came to Central City Concern that I ever once thought about what it would be like to be pregnant while homeless and actually have to give birth while I was outside. Do you have reflections on this incredibly courageous woman?

Tina: Well, I think when a person is houseless and you’re in that just day-to-day survival mode, you’re not tracking things in the normal kind of way. And so as a woman, once you finally figure out that you’re pregnant, you may intend to do something and yet also, you are in the grips of your addiction. It’s not always very obvious where you can go for help. A lot of our women have had very stigmatizing experiences going into places where medical care is provided. They’ve often said to us, they just treat you like an addict and don’t really listen to what’s happening. And it’s easy to put it off. Just next week, next week I’ll figure it out. I’ll go. I’ll find someplace, I’ll do something. And then the next thing you know, you’re in labor. So we’ve had a number of women come in who have had no prenatal care, who’ve been active in their use. And those are busy, anxious days for us because we are reaching out to arrange really sort of immediate assessment of the mom’s health, the baby’s health. Sometimes there’s been no ultrasound, things like this to figure out what might happen, how can we keep this mom and baby safe until, you know, through to a successful delivery, so it’s complicated.

Juliana: Is that baby going to be okay?

Tina: I think that baby’s gonna be okay. Yep, she’s a little cutie. She gives us lots of smiles and eye contact and developing pretty much on schedule. That’s incredible. When that mom graduated from our program.

Juliana: That’s incredible. Well, this audio clip is from a mom who talks about she was born addicted to fentanyl. Let’s take a listen.

Mom 5: Well, I was an opiate addict, so I was a heroin addict. And then, so I had my first kid and then I stayed clean for a while, got on methadone, stayed clean for a while and then we moved closer to downtown and I relapsed. It was during COVID and it was just a really hard time to stay clean. I got pregnant with my second child, and DHS got involved, so I went to treatment. And then when I graduated, I moved in with my mom in Roseburg. She ended up passing away unexpectedly, and that was really hard for me. I relapsed really hard after that, and then I found out I was pregnant with her. I wanted to go into treatment before I had her, and then, you know, I just…I don’t know, I just kinda, it’s really struggled. I was using fentanyl when I was pregnant with her and meth too. But I think the fentanyl definitely affected her. Which is kinda hard because you can’t stop using, because that could, you lose the baby, you know, if you just stop cold turkey. So, I felt kinda trapped, like you know.

So, the first week she was born, was there with her in the hospital for a week. And then I got out and then I had to wait four days before I came here. But she did really good, like having to face all those obstacles and she ate really well, which was kind of a worry, you know, for the NICU and also me.

But she overcame that pretty well. She still kind of gets little tremors and stuff, but she’s doing really good. And it broke my heart to see that. I blamed myself for not getting into treatment sooner.

Juliana: Wow. Let’s talk a tiny bit about blame and stigma. And what are your reflections on that clip?

Tina: Well, one of the biggest hurdles to long-term recovery, no matter which person we’re talking about, is really being able to work through the guilt and shame that comes along with all the things that happen in addiction, all of the decisions that one makes. And then that is magnified when you’re a mom. Because there are some pretty profound expectations put on moms in our society, really in most societies, that are hard to live up to even if you’re just a regular old mom living kind of a quote unquote average or normal life. Never mind if you are struggling with the disease of addiction that really impairs you and then you’re struggling with all of the trauma of your past that impairs you.

A lot of the work that we do at Letty is helping moms through whatever guilt and shame that they feel about what’s happened with regards to their children and parenting and their life at large.

Juliana: Do you work with child services? How does that work?

Tina: We do. We have a lot of interaction with DHS child welfare. Many of the women that come to us have already lost custody of a child. And coming to Letty Owings is one of the really the only ways that they can hope to earn custody back of their child. So, we do a lot of partnering with the child welfare workers.

They know us. I like to think that they trust us. We stay in very close communication and work together to figure out what each mom needs to be successful.

Juliana: Wow, it makes me feel like you are not just helping the mom, you’re helping an entire family get stabilized.

Tina: That’s very true. It’s one of the pieces that really distinguishes our work from other residential addiction facilities is that direct influence on not just that mother-child dyad, but it’s not unusual for some of our moms to have other children as well, older children that are living with family or in resource families, what used to be called foster families, or in some other arrangement. So, when we are full, we might have 28 moms and anywhere between 22 and 25 children. In addition to that, on the weekends and in the evenings, it’s not unusual for us to have many additional children coming to visit either just for the day or spending the night. And sometimes that’s the first real meaningful contact that that mom has had with those older children in months or even years.

Juliana: Wow, that’s incredible. I have to say that sounds like beautiful chaos.

Tina: Yes, it really is. I bought a little sign from my milieu supervisor that says I am the chaos coordinator. That’s a lot of what we’re doing every day.

Juliana: I love it. So tell me about some of your success stories. Tell me about what happens when they are able to take care of themselves and move forward.

Tina: We really see women transform. Of course, that’s what keeps us in it. You have to have that experience of that change. And we get to see it every week, incrementally, very incrementally at first, and then more and more. And not only does their physical appearance change, but their whole way of being.

We had one woman come in and she was one of our older moms. She was already in her early 40s. She came in with her daughter who was, I think, four, three or four. And when she came in, she was very, very ill. She had been using drugs for a long time and had been coerced into the sex industry and was unable to escape the very abusive man that was controlling that. And she struggled with psychosis, thought that she had worms coming out of her skin, things like this. She had untreated diabetes with blood sugar in the 500s. And she really wanted to recover. And we worked with her for longer than what we usually do with somebody because she came in with so many challenges. It was about three months into her treatment with us and I remember the day she found me and she said, Tina, today I realized there aren’t bugs and you know, we just persisted. just, she graduated successfully and moved into transitional housing and that kept her daughter with her. And, last we heard she’s still doing well and was staying safe.

Juliana: That’s incredible. What makes you hopeful for the future?

Tina: The fact that there continue to be people like the staff at Letty Owings and at Central City as a whole and all the other treatment agencies, people who are willing to do this as their career, despite how hard it is, that gives me hope because we need those helpers. And I’ve often said to my staff, know, our line of work is one of the only types of work where your main tool that you use in your work is your inside self. And that’s a very particular kind of thing to undertake as your livelihood. So that gives me hope and knowing of so many clients that I’ve worked with over the years, over my 30 years in the field that have gone on to lead recovered lives and help others. You know, we don’t so often hear about people that went to treatment, got into recovery, and then just went on to live lives because they are us. They are living as our neighbors, as our, you know, as the mom of my daughter’s preschool friend or they’re all around us. People in recovery are all around us and we don’t hear about them generally. We just hear about the people who are still in the struggle.

Juliana: Yeah, what you’re saying to me is that reminder that we should all, just constantly be reminding ourselves of is that people can recover and they do recover.

Tina: And they do recover all the time.

Juliana: As we finish today, I notice something that I think about. The Letty Owings Center and other residential treatment programs give people the gift of time. And it really feels like everything we’ve talked about today shows how come that is so important. That folks have time to stabilize and recover and get to a place where they can move forward.

Tina, thank you so much for sharing all of this. It’s been really, really powerful and really wonderful to know that there’s a program like this that exists for moms. Thank you for being here.

Tina: You’re welcome. Thanks for having me.

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Juliana: Thank you for tuning into They Are Us. To learn more about residential treatment at CCC, head to centralcityconcern.org. If you’d like to support the Letty Owings Center directly, check out their program page to shop their Amazon wish list for items needed by the mothers and children staying at the center. And as always, email us at podcast@cccconcern.org with any questions. Until next time, I’m Juliana.